WHEN
PRIVATE PRACTICE TURNS PUBLIC
Please Stop Rubbing My Nose in Your Business.
By Shari Schreiber,
M.A.
www.GettinBetter.com
There's
an insidious problem in the psychotherapeutic world, and frankly,
I'm shocked and dismayed by it. Colleagues/friends are sharing the
identities of their clients or patients, and I literally wince
every time it happens. Bottom line, it's nobody else's
business whom a therapist is treating--and that goes for their siblings,
their colleagues, their best friends--or even, their spouse.
Many
years ago, a family member (by marriage) grandly announced that
his therapy client appeared on the cover of that month's high-profile
magazine. My gut twisted, allerting me this was
a serious breach of ethics. I had just returned to school in pursuit
of my psychology degrees--and my uneasiness about this issue was
later ratified during that course work.
Protecting
the privacy and confidentiality of clients, is supposed
to be of the utmost importance. As I've always put a high premium
on my own privacy, this issue stuck an especially sensitive
nerve with me--and I've taken a hard line in my career, with reference
to it.
My
sense is, there's a ridiculous irony about sharing a patient's identity,
for the very foundation of a meaningful/solid therapeutic relationship
is built on safety, confidentiality and empathy.
Let's try to imagine, that the therapist is a public figure
who's in treatment; would he/she not be troubled to learn that their
clinician defiled their privacy, by telling others about it?
I've
assisted a few well known individuals, but my professional relationships
have remained just that. No boundaries crossed, no dual relationships--and
definitely no disregard for a client's anonymity. My piece
on Bipolar Disorder
discusses how difficult it is for someone of celebrity status to
seek help, due to fears surrounding loss of confidentiality--and
how this sets the stage for suicidal deaths within our film and
music industries.
Some
therapists play it fast and loose with this issue, no matter how
many ethical or regulatory laws the BBS institutes to prevent
this kind of boundary violation. It seems they can't resist the
temptation to exalt their egos when a famous individual
has enlisted their care--but from where I'm sitting, it's just plain
wrong, and I'm disheartened by it. This sort of practice does not
raise my esteem for these clinicians, it lowers it--and it's stopped
me from referring-out to them. Is their narcissism showing, or just
their insecurity? Is there actually a difference?
Human
nature delights in its close encounters with fame--but
given this very common tendency, is it really fair to reveal one's
secret client to a friend--but swear them to secrecy?
Isn't there something very wrong with this picture?
Oh, they've only told one person? I imagine it could be surprising
to discover how many people now know about whom they're
treating, and have spread the word. Shame on them, and
their naivety. I imagine that fame by association helps people feel
more important/interesting--but when it comes to ignoring a client's
privacy, it stinks.
Don't
misunderstand. I care for these colleagues, and have greatly admired
them for years--but the instant they have shared a client's
identity (whether famous or not), my trust and respect for them
is diminished. They could balk at this, because "everyone does
it"--but just because something has become standard practice,
that doesn't mean it's acceptable or right behavior.
We
have all engaged in collegial dialogues now and then, but I would
never share someone's identity (or even a first name),
with my dearest of friends. Strict adherence to ethical, sound and
safe practices is a natural outgrowth of emotional and moral development,
and personal integrity is never bound by any rules or laws.
It involves an intrinsic sense of right and wrong that's either
instilled in childhood--or acquired during a lifetime that's navigated
some twists and turns, but built character
along the way. How many march to the beat of that
drum? Few, I suspect.
So
whether it's DeNiro, Oprah or the Prince of Pakistan who phones
for help, you'll never hear about it from me. Revealing
that somebody's in treatment is solely the right of every
person. It is his/her exclusive prerogative to tell others that
they've sought assistance--not the practitioner's.
So,
I'm officially going on record here: To my friends/colleagues, please
stop rubbing my nose in your Business. If you've just
gotta tell somebody, don't let it be me. If you're
needing kudos, or you're wanting to feel better about yourself,
try investing in some solid personal inner work, to fortify
your self-esteem. Perhaps then, you can overcome this temptation
to gloat--and quit dismissing the sacred rights (and trust) of others.
In short, first do no harm.
*The
BBS stands for The Board of Behavioral Sciences. If you are aware
of a licensed therapist who violates their clients' privacy, it's
perfectly acceptable to advise them that you're uncomfortable with
their behavior--and that if it continues, you may report this infraction
to their governing agency.