AND
THE OSCAR GOES TO . . . ?
Borderlines in Film and Television
www.GettinBetter.com
This page is
dedicated to the marvelous ability that art has for imitating
life, and teaching us more (specifically) about Borderline Personality
Disorder. Some of these examples may replicate what you've already
read in my various articles
or forums--but omitting them (here) didn't seem a favorable option.
If you're struggling in a relationship with someone who's borderline
disordered, re-viewing these movies or TV programs and seeing them
through a BPD lens, may help you get a better handle on
your current situation, and that's really the point of
all this.
>>>she
loves me, she loves me not>>>
Dream
Lover stars
James Spader (a fabulous, versatile talent) and the lovely Madchen
Amick as the waif-like glamour girl who sweeps him off his feet,
despite his early sense that she's trouble with a capital
T. Every time I see this movie, I like it better than the last time.
Spader's character is drawn into a labyrinth of deceit, doubt and
emotional torment. His gorgeous borderline wife pushes and prods
him, until he lashes out in defense. We get to see what can happen,
when we disregard our instincts and intuitions. This film's ending
is priceless.
500
Days of Summer is
a guy meets girl story, with some interesting twists and turns.
A client of mine said this film replicated his relationship experiences
with his last girlfriend, to the letter. Seemingly soft-peddled,
perhaps because its creator is still holding onto a glimmer of hope
that his obsession will one day return (aren't most men, who've
been seduced by a Borderline?) he dexterously weaves this yarn in
such a way, that the love of his life appears sane and whole at
the end. Zooey Deschanel plays the girl who doesn't believe in love
throughout this movie. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the love-sick guy
who apparently doesn't want to believe it--or trust his instincts.
Well written by Scott Newstadter and Michael H. Weber, and great
direction by Marc Webb.
Obsessed
is
the (2009) story of a borderline disordered office temp, who wants
to be a permanent fixture at her job, and in her married boss's
life. Ali Larter (Lisa) is over the top (and borderline) as a gorgeous,
wacky gal who won't take 'no' for an answer, when her seduction
ploys fail miserably. Beyonce Knowles is the devoted wife, who's
too short on trust where her husband's concerned--in fact,
it seems her character's a bit off-center too! Handsome Idris Elba
plays the hounded husband who can't seem to shake off the insanely
stalking Lisa--or convince his wife that he's the victim
of sexual harassment.
Bliss
is
a 1997 film I saw ages ago, and thought it was pretty terrific back
then (before I'd even heard of Borderlines). I was lucky
enough to catch it again on cable the other night, and view it through
different lenses so to speak. It's heavy, it's deep, and astute
in revealing what can come of a female who's been incested in childhood.
Terence Stamp is the sex therapist, 'Balthazar' who appears to have
a better sense of how to assist adult children of sexual abuse than
anyone else--although I wouldn't sanction his approach as prudent
or effective for healing BPD. Craig Sheffer and Sheryl Lee play
the newlyweds seeking couples therapy, during which it's revealed
that she's been "faking" her orgasms. Lance Young superbly
directed this intriguing movie.
White
Oleander is
just chock-full of Borderlines! Michelle Pfeiffer is a BPD mother
who gave birth way too young, resented having to care for
her baby (all too common, unfortunately), and treats men like they're
disposable. Alison Lohman wonderfully portrays the enmeshed daughter,
who steadily tries to surmount her mother's rejecting and engulfing
cycles and maintain her own emotional equilibrium. Robin Wright
is a seductive, jealous, borderline foster care mom who does more
harm than good for this poor gal who's just trying to find her footing.
Renee Zellweger is superb (as usual), but falls victim to a narcissistic
husband (Noah Wiley) with borderline traits. This is an intricate,
sophisticated film about stuggle, and the will to triumph and thrive--not
just survive.
Breakfast
at Tiffany's circa 1961. Just saw it again after
more years than I want to admit to, and it takes the cake. Audrey
Hepburn's "Holly Golightly" is The Waif with a Queenly
twist. She uses men like facial tissues, changes her identity, acts
devastated one minute and jubilant the next, and is basically your
captivating, emotionally ambivalent, run of the mill Borderline
with serious attachment issues (poor kitty!). Truman Capote
really nailed BPD in this story, but had no clue as to what he was
actually portraying in this character--which is evident in the unrealistic
ending! Good film with George Peppard, and a great supporting cast
(look for Mickey Rooney).
Interview
stars
Steve Buscemi (who also co-wrote and directed it) and Sienna Miller.
He's a serious journalist who's relegated to writing "fluff
pieces" for his magazine's editor--and he's hating every minute
of it. Miller's 'Katya' is a famous actress being interviewed by
Buscemi, who's convinced she's an airhead. The interview turns into
an all-night ordeal that takes us on a fantastic ride that may hit
a little too close to home for those of you who've tried
to keep your balance in one of these relationships. Katya is the
quintessential Borderline in this fascinating piece, and
she does it with such convincing aplomb, you start to wonder if
it's just another day in the life of this woman! Her character is
seductively bright, alluring and engaging, but replete with all
the lying and shape-shifting that typically comes with BPD terrain.
An intriguing power struggle ensues between these two, and you keep
wondering who will come out on top--but you just can't
stop watching. A tour de force in the acting department, to be sure--and
brilliantly directed.
Boxing
Helena got
a lot of bad press when it opened. Folks unfairly boycotted it,
without ever seeing the movie. Ridiculous! I especially liked it
for its psychological underpinnings. Boxing Helena takes us on a
man's painfully obsessional journey with a provocative woman--and
cleverly reveals (early in the story) how and why he keeps heading
down this tunnel that has no cheese. Good little film with Sherilyn
Fenn (Helena), and Julian Sands as the love-sick surgeon. Jennifer
Lynch (David's daughter) directed, and I thought this was a great
first effort.
Casino
with
Robert DeNiro and Sharon Stone, is the exciting tale of a (Jewish)
casino owner, who's vastly successful in the early years of Las
Vegas, despite mob entanglements and an alluring, charismatic, seductive
Borderline (played by Stone). Her character, Ginger is
as close to textbook BPD as you can get, with the lies, betrayals,
drug/alcohol abuses, histrionics, attachment to a former love who's
a loser (James Woods)--and to top it all off, she's a lousy mother.
Joe Pesce plays a sociopath in his role, much like the loose canon
he was in Goodfellas. Nobody does it better.
Bad
Influence casts
James Spader as a too good guy, who meets up with
Rob Lowe--a handsome, daring, charismatic, identity-shifting borderline
bad-boy, without boundaries or impulse control (what a surprise).
Naturally, Spader's character 'Michael' is initially intrigued and
seduced by the other's confidence and self-assurance, for these
qualities are so lacking in himself (sound familiar?). This sort
of attraction toward Borderlines is common. We're drawn to personality
aspects in them, that are missing
in ourselves.
The
Last Seduction is
one of my favorites! Can't resist settling in (when I'm channel
surfing) and watching the rest, until it ends. Even the music
is hypnotic for me. Linda Fiorentino as the Borderline (probably
a Witch type) playing opposite the always brilliant Peter
Berg, and Bill Pullman as her husband. Delightful, diabolical and
definitely a divine romp!
Sleuth
pits
Michael Caine, an aging author of detective novels, against Jude
Law, who's banging his (much younger) wife. Jude's character is
a hair dresser/wannabe actor who's cocky about his BPD seduction
skills--and uses them to play both sides against the middle, for
his own gain. Nasty.
Secretary
brings
us Maggie Gyllenhaal as the most adorable, affable Borderline of
all. She's addicted to physical pain (cutting/burning) to escape
her emotional anguish--and finds a man (James Spader) who's intrigued
with domination and supplying a bit of it, while she's under his
employ. This quirky little gem is one of my all-time favorites.
It perfectly balances its dramatic undertones with a smashing good
time.
Vicky
Cristina Barcelona has
a superb
cast, and I loved this movie! Javier Bardem is incredibly
sexy (if I were 25 years younger, he'd be in big trouble), and Scarlett
Johansson is terrific as Cristina, the girl who only knows what
she doesn't want--which is a love that's stable and lasting
(remind you of anyone you know?). Rebecca Hall is splendid as the
complex Vicky, who knows exactly what she wants--until
she lets her guard down with Bardem's Juan Antonio. Penelope Cruz
is gorgeous, but highly unstable as Maria Elena, the ex-wife of
Juan Antonio. She shows up out of the blue (as Borderlines do),
when a failed rebound romance prompts her near-fatal suicide attempt,
by overdose. And who's there to pick up the pieces, despite
his new love affair with Cristina? Yep, you guessed it--her reliable
rescuer, Juan Antonio! Cruz's character is bisexual, which
isn't all that unusual among Borderlines--but her pre-divorce instability
with him re-emerges, when there's only two, rather than three players
in this menage a trois. By the way, Cristina also
has borderline traits.
Body
Heat is
another film I just can't resist watching when it's on
cable. Intricate plot--a sort of Double Indemnity theme, with Kathleen
Turner (sizzling hot), William Hurt, Richard Crenna--and a delightfully
surprising role inhabited by Ted Danson. This one will keep you
guessing, and a bit confused--but you're probably used to that by
now. A must see.
Romeo
is Bleeding with
the spectacular Lena Olin, as the most capricious, diabolical
and dangerous Borderline that's hit the screen in years. Whew! It's
another of my favorites, starring Gary Oldman--and it'll keep you
on the edge of your seat for the entire ride.
Basic
Instinct starred
Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas. It was fraught with turbulence
and tension, and Stone's provocative performance amped up the volume
on this film's popularity--especially, her interrogation scene.
And talk about being on the edge of your seat... yowie!
Mommie
Dearest is
an autobiographical account written by (adopted) daughter Christina--about
her mother, actress Joan Crawford. Crawford could be considered
a Borderline Witch/Queen, whose erratic, controlling and sadistic
behaviors tortured and tormented her children.
A Perfect
Murder casts
Michael Douglas as a narcissistic Borderline (is there any other
type?) who paints himself into a financial corner, and plots to
have his wife (Gwyneth Paltrow) murdered, so he can inherit her
fortune. Viggo Mortensen is splendid as the talented artist who
preys on wealthy women, and has an illicit affair with Paltrow's
character, Emily.
Loverboy
features
Kyra Sedgwick, as an emotionally incestuous, enmeshed
borderline mother, who cannot allow her son to separate/individuate
to form a healthy, autonomous sense of Self. This is a brilliant
performance that may teach you a lot about enmeshment and codependency
issues.
Lonely
Hearts tells
the (factual) story of two Borderlines who take up with each other,
and wreak havoc and destruction wherever they go. Salma Hayek is
superb as the damaged, incested young woman who's looking for love
in all the wrong places. Jared Leto plays the Casanova
whose seduction skills are trumped by an irresistible and
compelling Hayek. John Travolta and James Gandolfini are detectives,
in hot pursuit of this killing couple (pun intended).
Gaslight
was
released in 1944 (an oldie but goodie), and tells the story of a
male borderline who manipulates his wife (played by Ingrid Bergman)
into thinking she's going crazy. He dims the gaslights in their
house, and convinces her she's imagining it (hence the
title), along with a whole lot of other stuff he's conjured up to
undermine her sense of reality/sanity. 'Gaslighting' is a term that
describes the crazy-making interactions commonly used by Borderlines,
to make their partners think that they're the ones who
are going nuts! I happened on a site that illustrates this issue
extremely well--but mistakenly references this pathology as narcissistic,
rather than borderline disordered. Still, I think you'll benefit
from visiting.
Fatal
Attraction portrays
borderline pathology exquisitely! We see Alex--a successful, seductive
businesswoman, played by Glenn Close--whom by the way, is cast (again)
as a diabolical Borderline in TV's FX series, Damages;
she's older now--but no less lethal. Anyway, Michael Douglas plays
a married man who's had a brief affair with Alex, and finds that
(true to borderline nature) she's the gum on his shoe,
he just can't shake off. Her lying, stalking, bunny boiling, murderous
rampages aren't unusual for someone diagnosable with Borderline
Personality Disorder. She slits her wrists, and even fakes a pregnancy
to entrap him!
The reality is, many of these women are inmates on death row
at various penitentiaries around the world. Excellent supporting
role by Anne Archer, as the betrayed wife.
Monster
shows
us the more savage and brutal side of borderline pathology. It's
a superbly crafted film that stars Charlize Theron as a grimy, chunky
lesbian, who coerces men into paying her for sex--and then kills
them. Brave choice for Theron, who impeccably immerses herself in
this role.
Mother's
Boys is
a 1994 psychodrama starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Peter Gallagher.
She's an estranged wife who plots to sabotage her husband's plans
to remarry. Jamie's 'Jude' is a vengeful, psychotic Borderline who
will stop at nothing to derail her soon-to-be ex and his lover--regardless
of having abandoned her family a few years before! She
tries to recruit their twelve year old son to carry out her diabolical
plan to derail his father's new union, and destroy the woman he
loves. A must see!
In Treatment
is
HBO's fantastic series about a psychologist and his patients. We
get to be the proverbial fly on the wall during their sessions,
and I must say, this is the first series I've considered to be a
solid learning tool for psychotherapists. Poor Dr. Paul Weston (Gabriel
Byrne) has more than his fair share of narcissistic and borderline
disordered patients in his practice, but he handles their acting-out
with extraordinary self-restraint, insight and care. Paul is brilliant
in treatment--but clueless about his narcissism, and the
personal relationship issues that are prompted by his own blind
spots (despite efforts by his therapist, Diane Wiest--who's
marvelous as 'Gina'). The second season features
talented Hope Davis as 'Mia' who crosses boundaries all over the
place, and continually goads the doctor into rejecting/abandoning
her, because while this is her deepest fear, if it's gonna happen,
she's got to be the one in
control of that pain!
The
Tudors is
Showtime's sensational epic series. Jonathan Rhys Meyers is brilliant
as the so very borderline Henry VIII, but his second wife
Anne Boleyn gave him a real run for his money--a Borderline pas
de deux.
Grey's
Anatomy is
just chock full of borderline acting-out. In my BPD
Forum, I speak to Izzie's wacky relationship antics, but I have
a new piece this season--and remember, you heard it here
first: Poor Owen, who's shell-shocked and suffering with PTSD (Post-Traumatic
Stress Disorder) appears borderline disordered! Right from the start,
his come here/go
away (Dr. Jekyll - Mr. Hyde) behaviors with Cristina should
have been a big fat warning signal--but then, we'd be missing
out on all that drama to follow. Thank heavens she's finally waking
up--or more accurately, realizing that it's far too risky
to sleep!
There's more to come--so check back
now and then.